Emotional regulation in early childhood is a critical component of child development. At ages 2-3, children have not yet fully developed the ability to manage their emotions. This is a gradual learning process in which parents and caregivers play a crucial role. According to Thompson (1994), the ability to regulate emotions is essential for children’s social adaptation and emotional well-being later in life. At this age, children are developing self-awareness and beginning to experience a wide variety of emotions intensely, as their emotional systems are still immature. This is where adult support helps children feel understood and secure.
Emotions in children aged 2-3
Children at this age commonly experience emotions like joy, frustration, anger, sadness, and fear. These emotions tend to be intense and challenging to control due to the impulsive and expressive nature of young children. Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development explains that, in the stage known as "autonomy vs. shame and doubt," it is essential for children to build self-confidence and trust in their ability to act independently (Erikson, 1950). This phase allows them to experience and express their emotions freely, though it may lead to impulsive behaviors such as crying or tantrums.
These emotions are often brief but intense, which is typical given the immaturity of their emotional systems. Kochanska and Aksan (1995) explain that this period is characterized by children reacting more extremely and quickly to events they perceive as frustrating, resulting in emotions that may seem overwhelming to both the children and the adults around them. Caregivers and parents need to be patient, understanding that these emotional responses are not manipulative but are genuine expressions of their experiences and feelings.
Tantrums: Definition and causes
Tantrums are intense emotional expressions that often include crying, shouting, and sometimes physical outbursts. They are a way for children to communicate feelings of frustration or being overwhelmed. Distinguishing tantrums from other emotional expressions helps adults understand when children need boundaries and when they require emotional support. Common causes of tantrums include fatigue, hunger, frustration, and the need for attention. Recognizing these causes enables caregivers to respond appropriately, providing both structure and empathy as needed.
Strategies to help children regulate their emotions
To support children in the process of emotional regulation, it is essential to validate their feelings. Statements like "I see you're frustrated" or "I know you're feeling sad" allow children to feel understood and accompanied. This also aids them in identifying their own emotions, a fundamental step toward emotional self-regulation (Thompson, 1994). Additional strategies include offering choices and setting clear boundaries, as this provides structure and guidance in moments of stress.
Consistency in routines is also helpful in reducing anxiety and enabling children to anticipate the day's events. In emotionally stressful situations, simple breathing techniques can be effective for calming down, as well as creating a "calm corner" where they can relax. Finally, parents and caregivers who model good emotional regulation teach children to manage intense emotions through observation, which strengthens their ability to self-regulate over time (Bowlby, 1988).
References
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.
Erikson, E. H. (1950). Childhood and society. W. W. Norton & Company.
Thompson, R. A. (1994). Emotion regulation: A theme in search of definition. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 59(2-3), 25-52.
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